Sometimes the simplest questions in life are the very easiest to ask? With such questions, the answers are often the simplest as well.
Unfortunately, human beings often seem to take the simplest of things and complicate the hell out of them. A case in point is one of the most profound questions most answer seeking people ponder:
“What is love?”
An infinite supply of poems, songs and even books have been written about the various aspects of love, finding love and hopefully even keeping love.
Herein lays the problem with “having” love in one’s life. People think they can find love, much in the same way as finding an apple on an apple tree. Much like other tangible products of our earth, they believe love is there for the taking, all they have to do is find it through an arduous search.
In this blog, I am going to share with you my understanding of “love” based on my life experience and what I have been taught in mystical school. I do not claim to be an expert on the subject, however what I about to tell you certainly has rung true in my life and many of the people in my life who adhere to metaphysical principles. Please give this note a read and maybe even invest a few moments in contemplation and see if it helps you to understand how love can and does exist in your life and how your relationships can be more fulfilling for both you and your partner.
The first aspect of learning about love is to understand what love is not. It may sound backwards but it helps to clear the misinformation about love so that what is left is closer to the real thing that really is love.
Here’s the list (not perfect, but a good start):
Love is not:
• Being taken care of
• Having to obey another person’s wishes
• Performing to any kind of standard set by yourself or another
• Something one has to deserve or earn
• Making someone else happy
• A tangible object held by someone else that you have to find
• Something you have to get from someone else.
And most important on this list is this one:
• Love is not sex. Love does not evolve from two people having sex
And this one:
• Love is not found only through interacting in some special way with another person.
So you ask, if love is not any of these things, then
What is Love?
Love is a vibration, a feeling that is an essence expressed
through connection with the universal essence.
Do you want that in English now?
Love is a feeling that you can sense and have just by feeling it. That simple.
Here’s an exercise to feel love.
• Close your eyes, relax and follow your breath for a few moments until you are comfortably in your body.
• Visualize (Sense for you non visual people) a warm yellow sun glowing above your head.
• Draw this sun down into your chest area and let it fill your heart with its warmth.
• Continue with this feeling for several minutes allowing this sun to expand inside you.
• Allow yourself to feel the warm glow and bask in it for as long as you choose.
• Whenever you are ready, open your eyes and rejoin the outer world allowing yourself, if you desire, to continue feeling this connection.
You have just experienced love.
Now you say that this is all well and good but I wanted to feel love with another person.
And I say this back to you.
If you wish to experience true love with another person, the first thing you need to do is find love within yourself and allow the other person to do the same.
Until one learns to find love in themselves, they cannot find or share true love with another.
True love shared between two individuals can only be truly love if there are no boundaries or conditions that define that love or the free expression of it. This is where love and the understanding of what love is falls apart. Most people believe that love can only be found by connecting with another person and thus by connecting in that special way, the sense of love is born and allowed to express.
When two people unite in the pursuit of “love” there is a bonding of the energies of the two individuals in an attempt by and for the benefit of each individual to satisfy their individual emotional needs according to their core beliefs. The resulting feelings of this bonding is referred to as love. Usually when the relationship is new, both individuals are readily willing to provide all the energy necessary to the other individual so their partner’s needs are looked after and conversely their needs as well. This feeling can become very large, powerful, dynamic and usually unstable.
Over time, this practice becomes too hard to keep up and does not always meet the needs of the individual at a high enough level to satisfy their perceived needs. This is when the problems start setting in. The relationship starts to become a battle for control over the energy supply because each individual believes that their partner is the sole source of their “love” supply.
Eventually, this kind of relationship becomes very messy and possibly will come to an end depending on the needs and skills of the pair.
The challenge in this relationship is that the focus of both individuals is perceived to be “ being loving” when in reality what each of them is really looking for is someone to “match” or satisfy the energetic needs of their belief systems about how life needs to operate for them according to what they learned as a child.
In other words, the individuals are really just looking for someone to satisfy their needs without any real regard for the other individual or the big picture.
Doesn’t sound much like love does it?
That is because the real focus of creating a relationship with another person, in this situation, really has nothing to do with love. It is unfortunate that a true understanding of the difference between love and having one’s wants, needs and desires satisfied has not developed substantially since cavemen days. Each generation in turn produces another generation believing they are expressing love, and in turn teaching the younger generation similar belief systems which creates more generations of dissatisfied people.
If one were to take the same pair in relationship but train them to access love energy from the universe, the chances of the relationship working would escalate many times over because there is no competing for the energy. Both individuals have already supplied their needs for love on their own. The relationship can now develop on a different level where each individual fosters more of the love energy in the other person and through their united energy through conscious intent.
In a conscious relationship of this type, neither individual needs to be in a relationship in order to feel and enjoy love. They choose the relationship in order to experience the sharing, companionship, personal growth through joining together, wondrous sex and many other pleasures.
People who share conscious relationships still have challenges in the relationship but they learn how to work through them knowing that both of them are safe, and the relationship is safe therefore allowing them to openly learn from the challenge.
The concept of conscious relationships is very dynamic. It takes two individuals who are well tuned with each other who choose to be in the relationship to serve the three aspects of the relationship: each partner and the relationship itself. By dynamically focussing on the relationship as well as the two individuals the energy of the relationship becomes magnified thereby lifting the couple to much higher levels of self-awareness and consciousness than can be gained individually.
This concept really is quite well known. If you read the standard wedding vows that two people read when they marry, the vows precipitate the acceptance of this conscious relationship.
The chances of having a successful relationship when based on the current “Hollywood” style of engagement are extremely small since the focus for the individuals is too self or individually focussed.
Does this mean than folks who have entered into a more common style relationship are doomed to failure? Not at all. They will just have to work out their relationship based on the skills they can develop during the relationship. Most importantly, they will need to make a conscious, long-term commitment to themselves, each other and the relationship. Oh sorry, doesn’t that sound like a conscious relationship?
Any relationship can work providing the participants are truly willing to participate and commit to the relationships the best that they can and accept each other for better or worse and for richer or poorer.
Love cannot be found if it is pursued as a physical object. It can only truly be found through individual attunement and can only grow by consciously sharing with another.