Having been a student of personal development for most of my life I have become a very strong advocate for personal safety.
I discovered that, without a good understanding of personal safety, no person can truly live their life to the comfort and potential they were born with.
However, my perspective on safety is very different from most people that I have met.
In my experience of working with counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists while trying to figure my own life out, the emphasis almost always seemed to be centered on learning how to protect myself more efficiently by learning better coping skills.
What if we were able to dispense with the coping skills? What if they were not needed?
What if we were able to disengage from these outmoded belief systems and learn to be safe the way we were designed to be?
Sound irrational, farfetched or impossible? Only if you continue to believe so.
Please let me explain.
There are two parts to every human; the physical and the non-physical. The non-physical also has two parts; the personality and the character.
The personality is created through experience with life. It is based on the beliefs we develop as we progress through this maze. These beliefs are created primarily in the first seven years of a person’s life. Through the personality, a person sees their life.If the person is lucky enough to have grown up in a loving, balanced, mature family, the personality will have loving, balanced and mature energy to it allowing the person to live the same kind of life.
However, the rest of us have grown up in environments which were somewhat less loving, balanced or mature. We call these normal family environments. The personality expression is maintained by the ego in the subconscious mind. The personality can vary depending on what is going on in the external world of the person. It also may vary according to the conditions that evolve as the person lives their life.
The personality is strengthened or weakened and adjusted by the thoughts that proliferate a person’s mind. Good, healthy thoughts take the expression in one direction, while toxic thinking takes the personality the other way.
This is why a person, who may have lived a life of crime, can make a turn about and become a model citizen.
The ultimate goal, unconsconciously of every person is to have a melding of the personality and the character. The character, being the permanent and true expression of the person’s inner self is composed only of the good, strong traits that are the true, undistorted basis of the person.
If a person is aware how they are living their life and they choose to work through the frailties of their expression more commonly called “the dark side”, their personality will eventually become very much the same expression as their character.
If you are the kind of person who believes in the process of personal growth and believes that it is an integral part of your reasoning for being here at this time, please understand this.
By knowing the difference between feeling safe through maintaining “healthy” coping skills and truly knowing the safety we were born into, is the difference between being a good runner and an Olympic Marathon runner.
We were all born safe. We all have the capacity to live in safety simply by choosing to place our focus in safety rather than protection.
A child living in a healthy environment does not need to develop coping mechanisms in order to “feel” safe. They unconconsciously know they are safe. It is only through the experiences in their life that they learn to feel “unsafe” and develop coping mechanisms.
By recognizing our own individual coping mechanisms or “life saving protection strategies”, we can neutralize them.
The standard process goes something like this. A situation occurs that scares us at some level, so our subconscious mind recognizes the fear and automatically institutes the appropriate coping mechanism. We react automatically and life carries on, as always.
By becoming more conscious of our coping mechanisms, the situation can go like this:
A situation occurs. We recognize it from past patterns. We feel the automatic response starting to occur. Instead we take a breath and consciously choose a different response creating a different outcome.
Eventually, after we have become good at this process, we no longer react to the stimulus in a manner which doesn’t work for us. We can repeat this process needlessly until we have neutralized any coping mechanism we have in our unconscious mind.
What a freeing process! We do not have to live those lies our mind tells us!
The key to this process, though, is knowing the feeling of true safety to start with. If we can know this feeling and use it as an anchor to run our life from, we can turn off any coping mechanisms because we know they no longer serve a useful purpose.
How to know true safety? Sit down and take a break for five minutes. .
Close you eyes and take some nice comfortable breaths (moving your belly muscles as you breathe). Let your mind go. You have no need to be attached to your thoughts. When you feel relaxed and comfortable, you are now beginning to know true safety
Enjoy it for a while.
Memorize the feeling! It is the best thing you will ever do for yourself.
You were born into safety, then trained out of it. Now is the time to return.
If you would like to learn more about how to work with your belief systems in order to gain better personal safety, please consider taking ownership of either or both of my books available in our bookstore.