Loving My Scared Little Self
If you are ever looking for an opportunity to meet your little self in his most timid form, try travelling in a foreign country… especially one that runs on a completely different language from your native tongue!
One really needs to have and maintain a good grounding in themselves to survive and even enjoy the wonders that are offered in these very different lands where you have to create your own support group on the fly.
Having had the privilege of travelling to many countries over my life time I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to do this trip to Spain. However, this is the first time I have had to completely rely on my own wits and to trust that things will work out.
So far things are going well. Not perfect but well. Allowing myself to be rescued through the kindness of the local people around Andorra was the first big trial. Barely getting past that one, I found myself in the train station at Toulouse completely unable to figure out which train to take to Lourdes.
You see, my little brain thinks that there should be information booths everywhere with people who at least have a modicum of English to help a guy out. However, this is obviously not the perception in Toulouse. My little brain does not respond well in such situations!
My train had run late getting to the station and I knew I only had a brief time to transfer. I ran off the first train and up into the main foyer to look at the scheduling board. Oh Darn! I said (Or something like that). None of the schedules said anything about a train to Lourdes.
Oh. And not one of the 1000 people surrounding me spoke English! I ran around frantically trying to find anyone who could help. Finally after about 10 minutes I saw a janitor. In my very best French I attempted to secure some help. Once he got the drift (probably thought I was an escaped lunatic!) he realized I would get my problem solved if I dropped my best French and returned to speaking English. He immediately motioned for me to follow him for a minute until he found a beautiful African lady who spoke my language.
Whew! I sure seem to be getting rescued by a lot of wonderful ladies on this adventure! (Payback time for all those damsels I rescued in my past, I hope!) Once she understood my problem she walked me to the information booth in the next foyer and acted as translator. Problems solved! I was off to Lourdes.
Having recognized the importance of the little child inside me, I really try to give him voice. It is this child that responds so wonderfully when I walk in the forest or visit a beautiful cathedral and look in awe at the amazing architecture. I do hear him as well when he is scared.
I hear the constant rhetoric in my mind questioning my sanity and my choices as I march along into the unknown. From my perspective, it sounds like every day noise so I just let it go on without becoming engaged.
I do try to listen to my little child’s thoughts though. Sometimes a feeling or a word about a situation or a person nearby from him provides information that makes the day either by warning me of danger or yelling to me about an old lost friend found anew. (Hello John from Leicester!)
Sometimes the voice is just old programs playing out that have no real value in my present world. I really have to work at not letting them have any effect on my immediate situation. (I think I need a sign in my brain that flags these guys as “Old News”.)
When my little child becomes fearful, he becomes hard to manage. Eventually, I have to stop and get myself calmed down by deep breathing and consciously telling myself to get grounded. Using Qi Gong grounding techniques is a real plus in the worst situations.
Once I get back to calm I then ask him what he is trying to tell me. Usually it is not hard to figure out his concerns so I listen to him like a caring parent to their child and figure out how to get him settled down and take the appropriate action.
I think it is important to let my inner child have his voice even when he gets all panicky. He has a big role in the fullness of my life and needs that support and recognition. He adds much colour to my life and keeps me connected to the “joie de vivre” that is so important to living completely.
Just like a child on the conscious plane he exists, he has needs and has the ability to communicate his needs. I try to remember my little child inside myself and not become a tyrant who suppresses his place in my life when I would rather not give him his due.
I truly hope everyone takes the time to recognize, value and support their inner child especially when things are a little tough.